Bezos is surprisingly, and somewhat bravely, taking a leaf out of the “publish and be damned” book in the style of one Duke of Wellington, who was himself a target of blackmail. The front page story of the moment is Jeff Bezos’s revelation that the National Enquirer, helmed by David Pecker, ( “Bezos exposes Pecker” is the unforgettably puntastic headline) apparently made a not-so-thinly veiled attempt to blackmail him over his private correspondence and photographs. When Baby Talk Meets BlackmailĮven the world’s richest man isn’t immune. There’s always been a textual tension around indiscrete private communication being publicly exposed, despite or maybe because of the appearance of privacy in online correspondence. When baby talk and other intimate language reaches the point where it could be used for blackmail, perhaps it’s time to consider that this linguistic register has the power to express love but also to affect reputations. Certainly the fear of scandal over a couple’s private love language has been the plot point of many a Ruritanian tale. There’s always been a textual tension around indiscrete private communication being publicly exposed. Enquiring minds want to know: just why are people so linguistically cruel to their loved ones? What’s good for babies, pets, and perhaps Australians can’t possibly be great for couples in love, can it? If dubious nicknames and baby talk and other cringeworthy intimate language are anything to go by, strange things happen to words when two otherwise reasonable people begin to develop a romantic bond. This kind of talk you find between lovers isn’t necessarily overtly salacious-but it’s nonetheless language that could be embarrassing if it becomes public.

Baby talk, with nary a baby in sight, is common in romantic relationships, infecting many hapless lovers, regardless of age, with a viral, if not virile, speed. Lovey-dovey language doesn’t stop, however, at cheesy nicknames that seem to weaponize rhyming reduplication. But why? Can we all agree that pet names like “sweet cheeks,” “honey bun,” and “cutie patootie” are probably some of the worst nicknames amorous couples can call each other, even ironically? ( “Pumpkiny-wumpkiny” is objectively the worst, though). In the tender early days of a new romantic relationship, when lovers are driven by deep desire to appear in the best light, cutesy baby talk runs rampant.

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